Thursday, March 19, 2009

Can I Have the Model Number?

I don't know about anyone else out there, but I really do enjoy screwing with telemarketers. Nothing too obnoxious, I mean, they are real people just making a living too, right? It's not their fault that they are making my job annoying and miserable by calling, I suppose. It's the small pleasures in life that make it all worthwhile and one of my small pleasures is messing with these people. Mostly, its just a game around the office. The guy calls up and says, "Hi, I represent the people who got you your copier and we want to send you a new catalog. Can you give me the model number on your copier?" Right away I know this is a lie. First of all, I know the people that sold us our copier. She was in a couple weeks ago with a new brochure and if she wanted the model number she would have got it then. So its pretty obvious that this guy's whole job revolves around screwing over unsuspecting receptionists who have no clue who sold them their copier. So I immediately say to the guy, "Sure! Hold on." Then I start talking bets around the office for how long we can get the guy to stay on hold for. Today I was the only one in the office so it wasn't quite as entertaining as it usually is. It did cheer me up a little to know that whatever commission this guy may make on these calls was totally lost for the six minutes he stayed on hold. You'd think they'd learn the places they call and stop calling the ones that already know their game.
I am also fond of telling telemarketers that they have to talk to my boss and then let her bitch them out. Hey, she has a door on her office and I'm out in the open. If our patients hear my telling someone to fuck off they might get offended or some bullshit. There isn't really a lot of damage I can do to these people since I am supposed to be acting professional and all, but the little things really do make it worthwhile.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Real Writing....

Obviously I haven't written in a long time. I don't have much to say -- well we all know that isn't true. Honestly, I've been busy with my real writing. I mean my stories, of course. Since I decided to stop posting my stories on here (no one was actually reading them) I don't have much else to post. My life is essentially the same as it's always been. I'm still with my boyfriend and will will be actually living together (or 'officially living in sin" as he likes to call it) by the end of next month. I'm still working at the same place and doing a damn fine job (as evident from my raise and bonus). No major friend drama has occurred (not that I'd really want to write about it in here anyway) and I don't have any exceptionally funny stories about crazy patients to tell. I mean other than the standard crazies which I guess I'm just getting used to. One recently made us go covert just to get her money. She didn't want anyone to know that she was paying for the procedure herself so she designed a whole secretive plan to get her money from her purse to the billing department. It was pretty exciting -- well it would have been if I hadn't been at lunch when it all went down.

Nope, I live a pretty uneventful life at the moment and I'm satisfied with my after work activities. I'm doing pretty well on my story. It is now sixty pages long and it hasn't quite reached its climax yet. I feel pretty hopefully. I'm on the sixth book in the "Dead Until Dark" series that inspired the pretty fantastic show "True Blood" on HBO. I hope they keep this series going through all the books I've already read. It'll be interesting. I've also been into "Dexter" an awesome show on Showtime (for you obvious people out there) and I plan to read all the books that are related to that show as soon as I'm done with Sookie Stackhouse tales.

I guess the only reason I'm writing this blog is because the handful of readers I actually do have reading my blog have managed to comment that I'm being a slacker. I guess you can no longer say that, can you?

Friday, October 10, 2008

More New Stuff!

A story that I've had in my head since my sophomore year in high school just received an ending. You see, in my little world I come up with a scene that I think would be cool and I continue to develop that scene into a story. Usually moving on from the point that I start gives me a complete story with plot twists, a great opening, and an ending that makes sense for that story. Sometimes I come up with an idea that seems cool, but it never goes anywhere so the story ends up in the recycle bin in my brain. Of course I never take the recycle bin to the recycle center to get rid of it because I'm lazy and so it just sits there collecting dust.

Well, today one of those dust covered gems decided to resurface and say "Hey, look ma, I have an ending!" I really haven't thought much about this particular story since shortly after I got it into my head. Once I realized it was going no where I moved onto.... well, something else that went nowhere, but that hardly matters now. I moved on and just assumed that story would never see the light of day. Hell it would never even see the pages of my journal.

I was just sitting at my desk making new charts and spacing off. The Today show is droning on in the background when it struck me. "Hey, my main character is supposed to be a famous singer so duh, why wouldn't an interview be the best way to tie all my jumbled thoughts together?" They weren't interviewing anyone on the Today show to give me this insight, but I'm still going to credit them. Maybe it doesn't seem like much of a revelation to the outsiders (in other words, people not inside my head), but the moment that idea presented itself to me the rest of the story fell into my lap. Since the story only had one good scene in it that really was quite a gem to fall into my lap.

So, I can't exactly work on this project since I'm already plugging away at another project, but at least now the idea is mapped out and one day I'll be able to return to it. October is an awesome month for me getting ideas. I love this month.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Blogity

I probably should have titled this "Inconsequential Nonsense" to be more accurate, but I already filled in the title box and its not likely that I'll actually move my cursor back up to that box because I'm exceptionally lazy. My laziness is really the reason for the randomness that this blog is about to become. I have three totally unrelated observations that I've come across in the past month.



Alphabetical Insurance

This is the most recent observation I've come across, but probably the least interesting as well so that is why I'll start with it. I was at work earlier this week and overheard a conversation that my manager was having with a patient about her insurance. My manager had gotten a claim returned because the insurance company claimed they were not the primary insurance and they would not pay until after the primary insurance paid. Which is of course how it always has been. You see, we foolishly trust our patients to know which of their insurance is primary and which is secondary. Unfortunately most people are exceedingly stupid when it comes to health care even though they are paying a crap ton of money for it each year.

So the woman that my manager is speaking to is freaking out thinking their insurance is not going to pay (because of course she wasn't listening to a word my manager was saying). So, still freaking out she passes the conversation on to her husband who starts to spaz out because he's listening to his crazy wife as opposed to my manager (who actually knows what she's talking about). Eventually my manager is able to get across to these two exceptionally dumb people that she just wants to know which company is their primary so we can resubmit the claim.

The man insists that his Coventry Health Care insurance comes first because (and this so needs quotes) "It comes first in the alphabet."

Huh?

This man was sure that the way you tell the difference between your primary insurance and your supplemental insurance is by seeing which company would appear first in the phone book. Well, hell that just made our job a lot more convenient because Blue Cross Blue Shield of Nebraska is way better at paying out than any other company.

Now, time for the amusing part of this story: The guys other insurance was Blue Cross Blue Shield. Let that sink in for a moment. BCBS is insurance company one and Coventry is insurance two. He claimed that Coventry had to come first because of the alphabet........ yep, go ahead and wrack your brain to figure out what alphabet he was using. The best my manager could come up with was the fact that his name came before his wife's name if you put them in alphabetical order and maybe that's how crazy brain processes information.



Pink Backpack

My two year old nephew really likes the color PINK. That's right a little boy liking PINK. GOD FORBID!! Anyway, so its the new school year and that means new school supplies and a new backpack for him. Naturally with his current obsession with all things pink he points to a pink backpack and claims he wants no other. My brother refused. REFUSED to buy him a pink backpack. I'm sure in his head he is trying to "protect" him from getting made fun of at the daycare by "mean kids". He's TWO years old. He goes to daycare with other TWO year old kids. You know, the age where you still don't care if your clothes match or not. Who's really going to be made fun of for this?

So, I've been dwelling on this for the past month because I still find it ridiculous that he can't have pink. Pink soda and pink frosted cupcakes are no problem, but him wearing pink is. Weird. So why doesn't the same hold true for little girls? A little girl can go into a store and say "I want the spider-man backpack" and most parents would think it odd, but not stop her or force her to get the pink and purple one with little ponies prancing on it. No one says you can't wear blue because its a boys color and the inequality annoys me. Colors are sexist. Not cool.

Pregnancy Dreams

My third observation of the month was the weirdness of the multiple pregnancy dreams I've been having. I looked it up on the dream encyclopedia and it assures me that it doesn't necessarily mean that I'm pregnant. In fact it gives this horrible description about changing views about something or new beginnings.... blah, whatever. The point is I've had weird pregnancy dreams. First, when I was still dreaming in third person (before I went back to writing in first person) I dreamt about a girl I knew down in Texas being pregnant with her first boy which I told her about and she responded by saying she couldn't have children anymore because she got her tubes tied. Well, okay. That's not a prophetic dream then. More recently I've been dreaming in first person. I haven't dreamed in first person since I was in high school. That was when I started writing all my stories in third person and my dreams followed that line of thinking. So, as some of you know, my newest story is written in first person and so I've begun dreaming in first person again. It took some getting used to.
So I had a dream a few weeks ago, probably closer to a month ago now, that I was pregnant. It was odd, but dreams usually are. It didn't feel like anything in the first dream. I just knew I was pregnant because my belly was all big and stuff. Then only a couple of weeks ago I had another pregnancy dream and this time I could actually feel something moving and it was all sorts of creepy. In the next chunk of dream I was no longer pregnant, but I also didn't have a baby so it was just strange overall.
So, what point am I trying to make with telling you all about my dreams? Well, I wasn't really, but after my friend told me she was pregnant I decided that was why I was having the dreams. I really am psychic. Sweet.

I'll post more randomness some other time. Thanks for reading.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Something New

Well after the overwhelming (yawn) demand for more chapters on my last story I decided to let that one go. Not forever, but for now.

So instead I was bored at work and skimming through my random files looking for one of my older works to look at and work on. I had a few potential ideas for some of the older works that I had started and never finished, but I wasn't really in the mood to dive into any of the old stuff. I needed to get away from the old and jump into something new. And i did.

Out of no where a world began to unfold in front of me and the more I wrote the more I realized that this world was far superior the the world I had created for Eartha and Garrick. In fact I had come to realize that this was Eartha and Garrick's world and I had accidentally plopped them in someone else's world. My mistake. But this new world had a story that was more pressing than Eartha and she was still on the back burner. Before I could explain her story and bring her into this better world I had to explain someone else's first.

So as the world and the new girl's story began to open up to me I found some familiar faces. Some friendly and some... well, soulless ones as well. A character who has gone through a whole re-working has come back and is worse than ever. He has a new name and a new look and I think he's pretty bad-ass in a whole, "I'm a complete bastard who wants to ruin your life." kind of way. I'm twenty-five pages into this new tale and he's already a murderer (which who's to say he wasn't before page twenty-five, but this is the first one the readers get to see).

Needless to say, I'm pretty excited about this one. I think this idea is more straight forward and I think it will open up to a more suitable place for Eartha and Garrick to play out their stories. I'll keep you updated as it progresses, but I don't think there will be any chapter posting of this one. For those of you loyal enough to my writing... well, you know where to find me and my stories. For the rest of you.... why are you hear again?

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Free Gas!

But not for you. Awww. Now that I've lost all the leeches who thought they were getting free gas I have a story (it's short I promise). So, let me start with a little back story. My mom and I have this new thing where we meet up every couple weeks and in a combined effort we make a dinner. She makes a dish and I make a dish and we hope the other one doesn't screw up somehow. Well, I have the main course tomorrow night and I'm lazy and haven't bought any of my groceries yet. I was planning on putting this task off even longer and getting it during my lunch break tomorrow, but I really hate doing any thing over my lunch break that doesn't consist of me being ultra lazy. So I drag myself away from my writing frenzy and go to the magnificent Hy-Vee down the street. It is an uneventful trip until I walking back out the door to my car.

A few slots down from my car I see a guy hovering near a car with flashers on and a cell phone to his ear. I think, "That sucks I should be nice and ask him if he needs help." Of course, if anyone know me like I know me I know that I'm not actually going to do this. I'm going to get in my car and think about how I should stop as I roll past his distress. I'm not a maliciously hateful person, but you always have that nagging voice in your head that says "he has a gun and if you try to help him he will shoot you and steal your car. Just roll on by and pretend you don't see him."

I have my car unlocked when a woman appears in front of me brandishing jumper cables that are already attached to her end. She's holding them out to me and even though there's only one thing she could possibly want I just stare at her kind of blankly. Where the hell did she come from anyway? So she asks the obvious and I, of course, pop the hood. This is something that takes absolutely no effort on my part so I don't mind being the good Samaritan for something that doesn't require any effort. I start my car and turn around and there stands flasher/cell phone guy. "Do you have any change I could borrow for gas?" I look down at my purse slung over my shoulder and then back up at him. I do this a couple times before finally admitting, "I don't carry cash." Now, of course, I look like a complete liar because it took me a second too long to answer. He walks away probably thinking, thanks for nothing.

By this time jumper cable lady is already done getting her car started and has detached herself from my car with a friendly wave. I slide the cap back on the dangerous part of my battery and slam the hood. Time for home. I see the guy still pacing by his car distressed. Well the least I can do is offer him a ride to the gas station since I looked like I just lied about not having cash. I circle the lot back to him and offer the ride. He explains how he has no cash for gas even if he gets to the station. I tell him I'll fill his little can so he can get home or wherever. His girlfriend comes out of the store at this point and rather pointedly says "Well hurry up." Nice. You're lucky you didn't ask me, bitch. I wouldn't have felt bad about saying no.

He climbs in and I drive quickly to the gas station. I can't put my music on because as much as I enjoy Wicked the Musical I don't think this guy was strictly the musical type of guy and I don't have any radio stations programed (why would I will an 80 GB iPod?). So, in all this silence I'm thinking of how this could blow up in my face. What if he snatches my iPod or my purse and runs? What if he punches me in the face and steals my car? This is why you don't take strangers to the gas station at 9:00 pm, moron.

We're back at the store and I am unharmed. Due to my silence the entire trip I'm pretty sure the guy was having similar thoughts run through his head. Why does she have the window rolled down and the AC on with no music? This girl is a serial killer and that's why she's not talking to me. She's going to run my ass into a telephone poll. This is why you don't ask for a ride to the gas station from a stranger at 9:00 pm, moron! We somehow both survived this traumatic good Samaritan story and I'm sure he won't run out of gas again any time soon.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

I Give Up

I officially hate Nebraska Furniture Mart. Anyone planning on buying electronics with them? DON'T! It's not worth the stress. If this had been the first time I had problems with them I probably would just be annoyed, but at this point I'm pissed. It seems to me that they have an awful lot of space and yet don't carry anything in stock. How does that work?

Several months ago my iPod was lost to the world. (There's a blog about it somewhere if you really care to read about that unfortunate time) I did some price checking so I could get the best deal on a replacement without buying used merchandise (that could've been stolen and wiped clean like my iPod probably was). I went to one of my favorite stores of all time, Best Buy, and noted that the 80 GB were now the same price as the 30 I had before. So, I kept that in mind when I went to other places to check prices. I went to the Mart and was pleasantly surprised to see that it was actually cheaper than my beloved Best Buy. Sweet, I'll take one of those! Um, nope. None in stock. What are you talking about? There are, like, 60 boxes behind the glass. Those are all 160 GB iPods. Great. Well you guys kinda suck. Oh well back to good ol' Best Buy. Frustrating, but I guess everyone sells out of the popular items once in a while. Best Buy managed to several on hand.

**This also wasn't the first time they let me down. I didn't find anything worthwhile at the Mart when I was computer shopping the year before and the Sony camera I bought was actually cheaper at Best Buy. Needless to say I haven't had the best of luck with the Mart ever.**

So we fast forward to July 25th now. I had done my research once again and found the Nikon D80 camera to be considerably cheaper at the Mart than Best Buy so I had collected many gift cards for my birthday and was ready to purchase the camera. I went to pick it up and the complete moron that's in the camera department is just putzing around. I asked him for one of the Nikon D80 and he says "Oh, we've been out of those for a long time. Did you need it right away?" (try to picture someone who sounds stoned the whole time). I tell him that I had a family reunion the next day and he opens the cabinet and there's a D80 in there. So he says, "this is a D80 but it has the bigger lens on it and this one's, like, $1000." Then he starts pulling all the components out of the more expensive one to look at it. I wasn't willing to pay $200 more just for a fancier lens (otherwise I would have gone with the one at Best Buy). So I asked him when the cheaper ones were coming in and he tells me "we are getting another shipment on July 31st. there should be some on that" and then he ignores me for another five minutes while he puts all the pieces back in the box.

So, I went in on the 31st and a really helpful woman is in the department this time. She says they had a shipment that day, but that the only one on that shipment had been ordered by someone else weeks ago and there were no extra ones. If I wanted one she could order it and have it in by the 5th. The asshole from Friday didn't mention this, of course. Basically I was too pissed to yell on Friday and the woman from the 31st was both helpful and informative and it totally wasn't her fault that her co-worker is completely useless so I couldn't rant and rave at her. It's bought and paid for now and I should have gotten it this afternoon.

Then I get the update today that they won't have any D80s in until the end of the month and there is at least one person on the waiting list who has been on there since May (that's right f'ing MAY!). So, this nice helpful woman is basically working for a crap company that doesn't order anything right. That's unfortunate. So, I get a hold of my best pair of yelling lungs (Kristi's mom) and get her assistance against the assholes at the Mart. You see, working in retail for 5 years has taught me two things 1)You cannot get cash back for gift cards. They try to pawn off store credit for something else if you want to return an item. Obviously I don't want anything from this store ever again so this policy is not going to go in my favor. 2) If you give a loud enough complaint you can pretty much get whatever you want (I don't normally condone this, but this was seriously the last straw). After maybe an hour Cindy had gotten them to refund the gift cards in the form of a check that they had initially claimed they would send out and I would get it in a week. Nope, not good enough. She convinced them they most certainly did not want her to come down to the store and start another storm where other people could hear so they agreed to have a check ready to be picked up... by Nick.

I'm sorry, but your crappy company was going to make me wait for at least a month for a camera I'd already paid for when I could easily go pick up the same camera at any other store that sold the damn things today. I don't think so. I don't want anything from your store so you're going to reimburse me everything I gave you, in cash, so I never have to step foot in your crappy department again. In the end, the check is in Nick's hands and I will be getting a camera from someone who actually can give it to me or at lest send it to me the moment I give them money. I'm not waiting until you finally manage to figure out where to order them from which all the other stores seemed to manage to figure out some time ago.

At the end of the day I have no problems with the employees of the store (except the douche bag who was working the camera department on July 25th. He could totally be fired and I would have no issue with that). But the company itself can kiss my ass and never expect further business from (at least in your electronics departments) me. Maybe after a considerable chunk of time I will be willing to shop for furniture from them.... but I don't see this happening any time soon. Your prices may be cheaper, but you just don't seem to have any stock. I could sell a computer I don't have for hundreds of dollars less too, but I don't because I have integrity and I wouldn't lie to someone about something I don't have. NFM, you kinda suck.