Free Gas!

But not for you. Awww. Now that I've lost all the leeches who thought they were getting free gas I have a story (it's short I promise). So, let me start with a little back story. My mom and I have this new thing where we meet up every couple weeks and in a combined effort we make a dinner. She makes a dish and I make a dish and we hope the other one doesn't screw up somehow. Well, I have the main course tomorrow night and I'm lazy and haven't bought any of my groceries yet. I was planning on putting this task off even longer and getting it during my lunch break tomorrow, but I really hate doing any thing over my lunch break that doesn't consist of me being ultra lazy. So I drag myself away from my writing frenzy and go to the magnificent Hy-Vee down the street. It is an uneventful trip until I walking back out the door to my car.

A few slots down from my car I see a guy hovering near a car with flashers on and a cell phone to his ear. I think, "That sucks I should be nice and ask him if he needs help." Of course, if anyone know me like I know me I know that I'm not actually going to do this. I'm going to get in my car and think about how I should stop as I roll past his distress. I'm not a maliciously hateful person, but you always have that nagging voice in your head that says "he has a gun and if you try to help him he will shoot you and steal your car. Just roll on by and pretend you don't see him."

I have my car unlocked when a woman appears in front of me brandishing jumper cables that are already attached to her end. She's holding them out to me and even though there's only one thing she could possibly want I just stare at her kind of blankly. Where the hell did she come from anyway? So she asks the obvious and I, of course, pop the hood. This is something that takes absolutely no effort on my part so I don't mind being the good Samaritan for something that doesn't require any effort. I start my car and turn around and there stands flasher/cell phone guy. "Do you have any change I could borrow for gas?" I look down at my purse slung over my shoulder and then back up at him. I do this a couple times before finally admitting, "I don't carry cash." Now, of course, I look like a complete liar because it took me a second too long to answer. He walks away probably thinking, thanks for nothing.

By this time jumper cable lady is already done getting her car started and has detached herself from my car with a friendly wave. I slide the cap back on the dangerous part of my battery and slam the hood. Time for home. I see the guy still pacing by his car distressed. Well the least I can do is offer him a ride to the gas station since I looked like I just lied about not having cash. I circle the lot back to him and offer the ride. He explains how he has no cash for gas even if he gets to the station. I tell him I'll fill his little can so he can get home or wherever. His girlfriend comes out of the store at this point and rather pointedly says "Well hurry up." Nice. You're lucky you didn't ask me, bitch. I wouldn't have felt bad about saying no.

He climbs in and I drive quickly to the gas station. I can't put my music on because as much as I enjoy Wicked the Musical I don't think this guy was strictly the musical type of guy and I don't have any radio stations programed (why would I will an 80 GB iPod?). So, in all this silence I'm thinking of how this could blow up in my face. What if he snatches my iPod or my purse and runs? What if he punches me in the face and steals my car? This is why you don't take strangers to the gas station at 9:00 pm, moron.

We're back at the store and I am unharmed. Due to my silence the entire trip I'm pretty sure the guy was having similar thoughts run through his head. Why does she have the window rolled down and the AC on with no music? This girl is a serial killer and that's why she's not talking to me. She's going to run my ass into a telephone poll. This is why you don't ask for a ride to the gas station from a stranger at 9:00 pm, moron! We somehow both survived this traumatic good Samaritan story and I'm sure he won't run out of gas again any time soon.