Or more accurately another moment in my life where it makes me sad to be part of the human race. I have disabled comments on my blog. Now, logic is probably suggesting that I did this because I got a nasty comment that I just couldn't handle and I never wanted it to happen again. Sadly, this is not the case. It was another blog that inspired this decision. I've been getting regular feeds from several of my favorite blogs for quite some time now and while I'm doing this to read the blog and not the comments sometimes I feel the need to know what others think about a specific post. Every time I go to the comment section I am pretty disappointed in humanity. Because people are allowed to post their comments anonymously or with a user name like "goddess894374" people think that they can say whatever the fuck they feel like. I saw a humor blog comment section turn into a race riot in less than 20 posts. A HUMOR BLOG. A blog meant to inspire laughter or good feelings. When a race riot isn't started in a comment section ignorance reigns supreme. Misspelling and grammatical atrocities that make it painful to decipher what the moron was even trying to say in the first place. I just can't take it.
And even though I don't get comments often enough for this to really matter on my little blog I don't think I've gotten any overly profound comments that I feel I'll be loosing out by not hearing what the world has to say. Most of the people who do read my blog and feel the need to comment about something talk to me on a regular basis and can say these things to me. Face to face. Or at least over the phone. I don't need the comments. Negative or positive. I'll live in my own little bubble where I can pretend people aren't comprised of 90% assholes/morons.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Friday, May 1, 2009
Patient Tales #542
I've skipped posting a lot of them.... because why would I exaggerate or make up a number like that?
I'm sure anyone reading my blog has been to the doctors at least one time in their adult life. This is assuming I have anyone still reading my blog after such sporadic postings, of course. And, of course, when you are at the doctor you get the wonderful clipboard with bullshit papers that you have to fill out every time you go in even though they already have all the information and you've deemed them tree killers (or is that just me and my doctor's office? Seriously, I have to fill out a demographic sheet every f'ing time I go there.). So the doctor I work for has these amazing demographic sheets as well. The worksheet we have is only one page of actual filling out and then the standard HIPPA regulation page that the patients only have to sign so I don't count it as actually filling out. Our demographic page looks much like any other doctor form you've filled out over a lifetime. But are you one of those special individuals that likes to tell your life story via patient registration sheets? Because apparently the patients our facility attracts constant enter into TMI land.
Over the course of the three and a half years that I have been entering information from these pages I have noticed several trends:
1. Marital Status
Apparently Single, Married, and Divorced are just not enough to explain our patient's marital status. We need to switch to the facebook style and have an 'it's complicated' option -- now I'm a little tempted to put that in the next time I have to fill out that bullshit. In all the time I've been working on these things I have seen many "happily married" with varying amounts of smiley faces surrounding this, "NA" not applicable -- because they are neither single nor married nor divorced they are beyond these trivial human word associations, "in the process of a shitty divorce" and there certainly wasn't enough room for that in the space allotted so they were determined to get that off their chest, etc.
2. Allergies
This may be a sensitive subject since I'm sure this varies from office to office of how much info they need, but at the vast majority of offices (excluding an allergist) do not need to know what foods you are (or think you are) allergic to nor do they need to know you have seasonal allergies for which you take over the counter meds. I can't speak for all offices, but when we ask we want to know medicinal allergies. Like penicillin not strawberries. We aren't going to feed you strawberries, but we may need to know about the penicillin. Although telling your waiter that you're deathly allergic to green peppers just to make sure they don't put any in your food is totally acceptable.
3. Current Medications
If you take vitamins good for you. A general broad canvas of "vitamins" or "daily vitamin" is actually more than we care to know about, but still acceptable -- writing down how many and every specific one you take is not. Having a printed up list of all the meds you take, although acceptable, is a little terrifying and generally makes us think you are already on your death bed.
4. Past Operations/Medical Illnesses
Holy crap! I can't even go into all the craziness we experience in this section. I think it goes against HIPPA regs, but I do have to say "multiple attempts at suicide" is slightly unsettling.
and lastly...
5. Crossing off sections you don't approve of...
You would think that an optional section would be labeled as "OPTIONAL" but no. Apparently our whole form can be taken with a grain of salt. We don't need this information. We only ask for it to give you callouses on your fingers from writing too much and a cramp in your hand. It amuses us. But the whole reason for today's outburst is because recently I had a patient cross of the "sex" section. I would think it obvious that we aren't looking for the Mike Meyer response of "Yes, please!" and that we are actually asking about your gender, but on several occasions we have gotten variations of the low brow humor that goes along with any mention of the taboo word, sex. This past week I had a patient cross out the word "sex" and replace it with "gender". Thank you, lady. I may not have understood that otherwise. I get confused easily.
I'm sure anyone reading my blog has been to the doctors at least one time in their adult life. This is assuming I have anyone still reading my blog after such sporadic postings, of course. And, of course, when you are at the doctor you get the wonderful clipboard with bullshit papers that you have to fill out every time you go in even though they already have all the information and you've deemed them tree killers (or is that just me and my doctor's office? Seriously, I have to fill out a demographic sheet every f'ing time I go there.). So the doctor I work for has these amazing demographic sheets as well. The worksheet we have is only one page of actual filling out and then the standard HIPPA regulation page that the patients only have to sign so I don't count it as actually filling out. Our demographic page looks much like any other doctor form you've filled out over a lifetime. But are you one of those special individuals that likes to tell your life story via patient registration sheets? Because apparently the patients our facility attracts constant enter into TMI land.
Over the course of the three and a half years that I have been entering information from these pages I have noticed several trends:
1. Marital Status
Apparently Single, Married, and Divorced are just not enough to explain our patient's marital status. We need to switch to the facebook style and have an 'it's complicated' option -- now I'm a little tempted to put that in the next time I have to fill out that bullshit. In all the time I've been working on these things I have seen many "happily married" with varying amounts of smiley faces surrounding this, "NA" not applicable -- because they are neither single nor married nor divorced they are beyond these trivial human word associations, "in the process of a shitty divorce" and there certainly wasn't enough room for that in the space allotted so they were determined to get that off their chest, etc.
2. Allergies
This may be a sensitive subject since I'm sure this varies from office to office of how much info they need, but at the vast majority of offices (excluding an allergist) do not need to know what foods you are (or think you are) allergic to nor do they need to know you have seasonal allergies for which you take over the counter meds. I can't speak for all offices, but when we ask we want to know medicinal allergies. Like penicillin not strawberries. We aren't going to feed you strawberries, but we may need to know about the penicillin. Although telling your waiter that you're deathly allergic to green peppers just to make sure they don't put any in your food is totally acceptable.
3. Current Medications
If you take vitamins good for you. A general broad canvas of "vitamins" or "daily vitamin" is actually more than we care to know about, but still acceptable -- writing down how many and every specific one you take is not. Having a printed up list of all the meds you take, although acceptable, is a little terrifying and generally makes us think you are already on your death bed.
4. Past Operations/Medical Illnesses
Holy crap! I can't even go into all the craziness we experience in this section. I think it goes against HIPPA regs, but I do have to say "multiple attempts at suicide" is slightly unsettling.
and lastly...
5. Crossing off sections you don't approve of...
You would think that an optional section would be labeled as "OPTIONAL" but no. Apparently our whole form can be taken with a grain of salt. We don't need this information. We only ask for it to give you callouses on your fingers from writing too much and a cramp in your hand. It amuses us. But the whole reason for today's outburst is because recently I had a patient cross of the "sex" section. I would think it obvious that we aren't looking for the Mike Meyer response of "Yes, please!" and that we are actually asking about your gender, but on several occasions we have gotten variations of the low brow humor that goes along with any mention of the taboo word, sex. This past week I had a patient cross out the word "sex" and replace it with "gender". Thank you, lady. I may not have understood that otherwise. I get confused easily.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Can I Have the Model Number?
I don't know about anyone else out there, but I really do enjoy screwing with telemarketers. Nothing too obnoxious, I mean, they are real people just making a living too, right? It's not their fault that they are making my job annoying and miserable by calling, I suppose. It's the small pleasures in life that make it all worthwhile and one of my small pleasures is messing with these people. Mostly, its just a game around the office. The guy calls up and says, "Hi, I represent the people who got you your copier and we want to send you a new catalog. Can you give me the model number on your copier?" Right away I know this is a lie. First of all, I know the people that sold us our copier. She was in a couple weeks ago with a new brochure and if she wanted the model number she would have got it then. So its pretty obvious that this guy's whole job revolves around screwing over unsuspecting receptionists who have no clue who sold them their copier. So I immediately say to the guy, "Sure! Hold on." Then I start talking bets around the office for how long we can get the guy to stay on hold for. Today I was the only one in the office so it wasn't quite as entertaining as it usually is. It did cheer me up a little to know that whatever commission this guy may make on these calls was totally lost for the six minutes he stayed on hold. You'd think they'd learn the places they call and stop calling the ones that already know their game.
I am also fond of telling telemarketers that they have to talk to my boss and then let her bitch them out. Hey, she has a door on her office and I'm out in the open. If our patients hear my telling someone to fuck off they might get offended or some bullshit. There isn't really a lot of damage I can do to these people since I am supposed to be acting professional and all, but the little things really do make it worthwhile.
I am also fond of telling telemarketers that they have to talk to my boss and then let her bitch them out. Hey, she has a door on her office and I'm out in the open. If our patients hear my telling someone to fuck off they might get offended or some bullshit. There isn't really a lot of damage I can do to these people since I am supposed to be acting professional and all, but the little things really do make it worthwhile.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Real Writing....
Obviously I haven't written in a long time. I don't have much to say -- well we all know that isn't true. Honestly, I've been busy with my real writing. I mean my stories, of course. Since I decided to stop posting my stories on here (no one was actually reading them) I don't have much else to post. My life is essentially the same as it's always been. I'm still with my boyfriend and will will be actually living together (or 'officially living in sin" as he likes to call it) by the end of next month. I'm still working at the same place and doing a damn fine job (as evident from my raise and bonus). No major friend drama has occurred (not that I'd really want to write about it in here anyway) and I don't have any exceptionally funny stories about crazy patients to tell. I mean other than the standard crazies which I guess I'm just getting used to. One recently made us go covert just to get her money. She didn't want anyone to know that she was paying for the procedure herself so she designed a whole secretive plan to get her money from her purse to the billing department. It was pretty exciting -- well it would have been if I hadn't been at lunch when it all went down.
Nope, I live a pretty uneventful life at the moment and I'm satisfied with my after work activities. I'm doing pretty well on my story. It is now sixty pages long and it hasn't quite reached its climax yet. I feel pretty hopefully. I'm on the sixth book in the "Dead Until Dark" series that inspired the pretty fantastic show "True Blood" on HBO. I hope they keep this series going through all the books I've already read. It'll be interesting. I've also been into "Dexter" an awesome show on Showtime (for you obvious people out there) and I plan to read all the books that are related to that show as soon as I'm done with Sookie Stackhouse tales.
I guess the only reason I'm writing this blog is because the handful of readers I actually do have reading my blog have managed to comment that I'm being a slacker. I guess you can no longer say that, can you?
Nope, I live a pretty uneventful life at the moment and I'm satisfied with my after work activities. I'm doing pretty well on my story. It is now sixty pages long and it hasn't quite reached its climax yet. I feel pretty hopefully. I'm on the sixth book in the "Dead Until Dark" series that inspired the pretty fantastic show "True Blood" on HBO. I hope they keep this series going through all the books I've already read. It'll be interesting. I've also been into "Dexter" an awesome show on Showtime (for you obvious people out there) and I plan to read all the books that are related to that show as soon as I'm done with Sookie Stackhouse tales.
I guess the only reason I'm writing this blog is because the handful of readers I actually do have reading my blog have managed to comment that I'm being a slacker. I guess you can no longer say that, can you?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
